


The Truth About the Moon.

by idkspookystuff



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Menstruation, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22656571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkspookystuff/pseuds/idkspookystuff
Summary: Ryan is the dumbest motherfucker on the entire planet.Well, okay, there are probably people who are dumber than him. But right now, standing in front of his bathroom mirror with a t-shirt tucked under one arm and his binder under the other, he’s at least the dumbest motherfucker in his apartment. On one hand, he knows he shouldn’t sleep with a binder on. On the other, Shane is sitting in his bedroom and Ryan hasn’t told him he’s trans yet.-or the one where ryan gets his period and shane's the best boyfriend ever.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 22
Kudos: 291





	The Truth About the Moon.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [things you said in the moonlight.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12667530) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> Hi!
> 
> I originally wrote this fic in 2017 but it lowkey made me wanna die. It was so bad, so I thought I had to do it some justice. I dunno if that's what this is but here you go, anyway!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This fanfic deals with gender dysphoria, blood and menstruation. If that makes you uncomfortable, please don't read this. I identify as non-binary AFAB so I tried to write to my experience as well as possible.
> 
> If you're into people who never post on Tumblr, you can [follow me here.](https://galaxxyboy.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> [-is](https://galaxxyboy.tumblr.com/)

Ryan is the dumbest motherfucker on the entire planet.

Well, okay, there are probably people who are dumber than him. Like the person who rejected Hitler from art school. Not that he knows if that story is true. He could probably ask Shane, but he would also probably get a ten hour lecture on the entire extended history of the Holocaust.

But right now, standing in front of his bathroom mirror with a t-shirt tucked under one arm and his binder under the other, he’s at least the dumbest motherfucker in his apartment. On one hand, he knows he shouldn’t sleep with a binder on. On the other, Shane is sitting in his bedroom and Ryan hasn’t told him he’s trans yet.

It’s not like he’s ashamed; it’s just that he passes well enough now that he doesn’t have to introduce himself like “hey, I’m Ryan, I’m trans, he/him”. In their friendship, it had never come up, and now, in their whirlwind relationship, he feels awkward randomly bringing it up. How would he even do it? Over text? Like ‘ _ hey, bud, just letting you know that I’m trans, anyway where should we go for our next shoot _ ?’ Yeah, no thanks.

Shane’s voice comes through the door, breaking up his thoughts with a gentle, “hey, Ry? You good?”

Ryan mentally curses his situation as he pulls his binder, slightly too tight, over his head. He can almost hear his endocrinologist yelling at him from here. “Yeah, hold on.” He pulls his t-shirt on and a pair of sweats and then exits the bathroom, where he sees Shane sitting on his bed, scrolling through Twitter.

Shane looks up at him when he hears the door open and he scoffs. “You’re not gonna take your shirt off?”

Ryan, an expert in Ignoring Shane, just sighs and turns off the light. Shane doesn’t press it further, just reaches for Ryan with grabby hands and a pouty face. Ryan laughs at him, presses a soft kiss to his lips as Shane’s arms wrap around his shoulders. Shane lays them down so that Ryan’s face is pushed up against Shane’s bare chest, breathing in his boyfriend as Shane runs his hands through Ryan’s hair. He’s such a  _ girl _ , but also it’s so nice that he kind of doesn’t care.

“Goodnight,” Ryan breathes into the quiet of his bedroom.

Shane kisses his head. “Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the ghosties bite.” His fingers loosely run up Ryan’s arms in a poor imitation of a ghost that gives him goosebumps anyway.

“Shut up, Shane,” Ryan says with no heat as he falls asleep.

When Ryan wakes up again, he’s distinctly aware of the fact that something is wrong.

The first thing he notices is that his back hurts, and that Shane is asleep on his chest. He moves a bit to try to crack his back under his binder, which is when he notices his thighs are sticky. “Oh no,” he whispers to no one in particular as he pulls the sheets back. In the soft moonlight and the LA street lights, he notices his thighs are covered in blood that’s soaked through the material of his sweatpants.

“Fuck,” he mutters as he rubs his hand over his face. “Fuck,  _ fuck _ .”

Shane, a notoriously light sleeper, stirs. “Ryan?” he asks. He cracks open an eye and Ryan must have ‘ _ hey, I’m anxious _ !’ written on his face because Shane wakes up in point two seconds.

“Ryan, hey,” Shane mutters as he sits up. He flicks the light on and puts a big stupid hand to Ryan’s thigh, and then immediately pulls it back. “Holy shit, you’re bleeding.”

_ ‘Fucking say something, Ryan! _ ’ the voice inside his head screams at him. “Shane,” is all Ryan actually manages to say.

Shane ignores him. He’s about the closest to freaking out that Ryan’s ever seen him. His face is red and his hair is a mess. It’s actually kind of funny, in like a ‘ _ I hate myself _ ’ kinda way. “Holy shit, what happened? Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself? We need to go to the hospital!” He reaches out a hand for Ryan, who scoots forward a bit so that Shane makes eye contact with Ryan’s soiled sheets. “Jesus, that’s so much blood.”

“Shane!” Ryan screams, which manages to shut Shane up, for once. There’s a long beat where they just stare into each other’s eyes, and then Ryan takes a deep breath and says, “it’s my period.” 

“I’m not joking,” Ryan says. Shane gives him a blank stare and Ryan feels tears well up in his eyes. “I’m transgender.”

Shane gives Ryan a look like he’s just had the breath punched out of him. “Ryan,” he says, in that weirdly cryptic Shane way that Ryan can never decipher.

He reaches out for Ryan’s hand and Ryan pulls away. “Don’t fucking touch me,” Ryan says. He stumbles his way out of bed and walks into the bathroom, pulling it shut before Shane can follow him. His eyes sting with tears as he pulls his sweatpants off and throws them on the floor. He grabs tissues and tries to wipe away at the traitor blood. “Fuck you,” he says to his body.

Shane pounds on the door. “Ryan!” he says. When Ryan doesn’t answer, his voice comes out softer. “Ryan, come on. I’m not mad, dude. I just wanna talk.”

Ryan feels all the fight drain out of him. He pushes open the door and falls into Shane’s arms. Shane takes him easily, one hand combing through the hair at the back of Ryan’s head and the other cradling his shoulders. “Hey, I’m not mad at you,” Shane says again.

“You should be,” Ryan answers. His voice sounds about as numb as he feels. “I lied to you.”

Shane shakes his head. “You didn’t lie,” he says, cool as ever, like it’s a fact. “You told me you’re a man and you are. That’s that.” 

“I never told you I’m trans,” Ryan says. “You deserve to know that I’m not even-”

“None of that,” Shane answers. He tilts Ryan’s chin up so they can look at each other and earnestly adds, “you are who you are and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.” 

Ryan feels his heart swell with love for Shane for about the 80 millionth time in his life. He reaches up to connect their lips and they fall into a gentle, easy kiss. When Ryan pulls back, Shane puts a hand to Ryan’s cheek and looks at him like he’s reinvented the wheel. “You’re gorgeous.”

Ryan turns into the heat of Shane’s hand. “You’re not leaving?” he asks into the quiet of his room.

“Nah,” Shane answers. He gives Ryan a goofy smile. “You’re stuck with me, Bergara.”

Outside, the moon shines on the two of them. In a few hours, they have to get up for work. They’ll be running on caffeine and aspirin. Ryan will probably feel dead as hell.

But right now, Ryan has arms wrapped around his waist, holding him tight and not leaving. He has a goofy smile, soft lips against his. He has love. He has acceptance. 

Maybe he is the dumbest motherfucker on the entire planet, but at least he has Shane.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed!
> 
> [-is](https://galaxxyboy.tumblr.com/)
> 
> p.s. comments make the world go 'round.


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